Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
"Vacation" means going to Boise.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit a deer.
School classes were canceled because of cold.
School classes were canceled because of heat.
You've ridden the school bus for more than an hour each way.
You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
You know how to pronounce the name of the town of Buhl, Weippe or Kooskia.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow and ice.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for cattle prices and sports.
You think that opening day of deer season is a national holiday.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, winter, Still Winter, and
construction.
You turn on your blinker after you start a turn.
You think your town is big if it has a traffic light.
You know Nampa, Caldwell, Meridian, Eagle and Middleton are NOT
synonymous with Boise.
You know gravel road shortcuts by heart.
At least three of your best friends work for the Forest Service.
You have a $100,000 income, and still wear cowboy clothes to formals.
You drive a 4-wheeler around town.
You don't even greet people who voted for Al Gore.
Elk City is an actual town and not a mere expression of the Idaho Wilderness Land.
Your chainsaw has a name.
The only time your dog stops barking is when it dies.
"Truck", "Pickup" and "Rig" have entirely different meanings and you bitch at people who use them synonymously.
You know very well what Rocky Mountain Oysters are.
Your town has about 3 bars per 100 people.
You have to travel over 20 miles to get groceries.
You have to stay all week in the town of your high school because its too far from home.
Coyotes are the main source of gang-related crime.
Your mayor, instead of driving a Mercedes drives an F350 Ford.
The best restaurant in town doesn't allow people under 21, even for breakfast.
You get fake ID's to drive.
You log for sport.
At the sight of an FBI symbol you tremble.
Contrast to what non-Idahoans think, you don't know a dang thing about the potato industry.
You can stand the smell of cow manure, Caldwell, Lewiston, and smoke.
You've never hunted Rattlesnakes or Porcupines.
People wonder what the color of your pickup would be without the dirt and bumper stickers.
Cars are the official rig of sissies.
Your rig has only one radio station. It plays only country, but you don't care.
Your county coroner has to campaign a conservative political platform to get elected.
You actually get these jokes and forward them to your Idaho friends.
(This really made me laugh and yes, I'm from Idaho, born & raised.)
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