"Lettin' the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in."
"If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there."
"If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around."
"Never kick a cow chip on a hot day."
"There's two theories to arguing with a women. Neither works."
"If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging."
"After eating an intire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him...
The moral of this is: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut."
"Never slap a man who has been chewing tobacco."
"It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep."
"The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket."
"Don't squat with your spurs on."
"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."
"Never miss a good chance to shut up."
"Always drink upstream from the herd."
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